#7 episode 1 big impact songs...

New Deep - John Mayer

I'm so alive
I'm so enlightened
I can barely survive
A night in my mind
I've got a plan
I'm gonna find out just how boring I am
And have a good time

Cause ever since I tried
Trying not to find
Every little meaning in my life
It's been fine
I've been cool
With my new golden rule

Numb is the new deep
Done with the old me
And talk is the same cheap it's been

Is there a God?Why is he waiting?
Don't you think of it odd
When he knows my inner dwellings?
And look at the stars
Don't it remind you just how feeble we are?
Well it used to, I guess

Cause ever since I tried
Trying not to find
Every little meaning in my life
It's been fineI've been cool
With my new golden rule

Numb is the new deep
Done with the old me
And talk is the same cheap it's been

I'm a new man
I wear a new cologne and
You wouldn't know me if your eyes were closed
I know what you'll say
'This won't last longer than the rest of the day'
But you're wrong this time

Numb is the new deep
Done with the old me
I'm over the analyzing
Tonight

Stop trying to figure it out
Deep will only bring you down
You know, I used to be the back porch poet with a book of rhymes
Always open knowing all the time I'm probably
Never gonna find the perfect rhyme
For 'heavier things'

#6 wedding trouble

I have this friend who's gonna get married on the weekend, saturday. She asked me to come to her wedding. She is 20 now, about months younger than me, she's going to marry her boyfriend, an american soldier.
After talking to my mother about all of this I could take her advise and say yes, I am going to come. I am not happy about her decission, I feel like she doesn't have a plan for her life. All the time since I knew her she wanted to become a radio moderator and host. She started studying something unimportant here in Germany about 3 months ago, pretty much since she knew she was going to ger married. Suddenly I heared her say how much she wishes herself to have a baby. She used to be rather driven, did voluntary work in a local youth radio station and now her plan is going to the United States with him and getting pregnant, possibly studying (as the army pays for both of them, as far as I could figure it out) and well- to ma all this sounds like shes laying her life in his hands.
He english is good enough to communicate but I can't see her being a radio host. She has a strong german accent and grammatically theres not much that actually is a 100% right. LIving in america might sort a few things out, I understand that, but what happened to her dream, her goal? Did it disappear because she found someone who says loves her and she can love him back?

To those people I talked about this I told I am jealous on the one hand, me, who is so longing to get back out of Germany, but on the other hand I can't see myself being as blinded to give up my future. I finally came to have a plan for my career- and eventhough I can't wait to go this will help me to be able to move to where ever I want and earn money! I can't say how glad I am...